Saturday, 23 June 2007

How To Make Anyone fall In Love With You

This is a book review, with slight changes, that I have done for a friend's blog. It is my two cents’ worth of views on Leil Lowndes’ book. It covers 85 techniques (by my standard, that’s a lot of techniques to employ).

"Lowndes claims that her techniques on making “anyone fall in love with you” are based on extensive scientific findings. The book contains numerous references to studies in human and animal behaviours in the mating game. In contrast to many writers on sexuality who focus on techniques and the erotic spots of men and women, Lowndes says the brain is the most erotic organ. Stimulate, excite and caress that organ and you are on your way to creating “a lifelong erotic aura”. It is the mind games that the sexes play out repeatedly that stoke and sustain sexual pleasure and intensity. She calls it brain fellatio. To put it succinctly, keep the channels of communication, verbal and nonverbal, open on all fronts".

I have picked out a few techniques so that readers can have a peek at what is inside the 318 page book. But first the physical sensation of love.

"The physical sensation of love
When a person falls in love, the body secretes a chemical, phenylethyalmine, or PEA that makes his heart thump, his hands wet with sweat and his insides go queasy. How does a hunter induce the release of PEA in his quarry? How does he or she ignite love at first sight in the quarry? " Now, that’s easy to remember; PEA as in pea-brain, I thought.

"Make eyes at the quarry
It is eye contact. There are four eye techniques that work: the intense gaze, the bedroom eyes, the sticky eyes and the visual voyage.

Technique 1: the intense gaze: when conversing with your quarry, lock eyes with him or her to give the impression that you are in love with her.

Technique 2: the bedroom eyes: allow your eyes to focus on the most attractive part of his or her face. This will cause the pupils to expand. According to Lowndes, ethnologists even have a name for it: the copulatory gaze. Finnish researchers have found that when the male baboon’s first look was directed at the female’s private parts, only five ejaculations occurred. However, when he first gazed into her eyes before taking a peek at her ‘yoni’, twenty-one ejaculations occurred.

Technique 3: the sticky eyes: let your eyes stay glued to her all the time.

Technique 4: the visual voyage: as you and your quarry are talking, let your eyes travel over her face and if he or she seems to enjoy it, let your eyes move further down. But beware! “You're cruising into dangerous seas and can sink the ship if your eyes travel too far south and vacation there too long. What if you were born with slit eyes where the expanding pupils are practically unnoticeable?

"The art of pickup
How does one approach his or her potential love partner when he or she thinks that he or she is the one sent from heaven?". This is getting to be very cumbersome; the use of “he or she”; I am going to stick to “he” and “you” from now on to make life simpler.

"Hunters, make your move fast before some one else does. Lock eyes with her to signal your interest. If she looks away, don’t lose heart. According to Lowndes, a study on flirtation patterns shows that when a woman looks away and then looks up again 45 seconds later, she is interested. Give her a warm smile and move within range to talk to her. Huntress, do not think that the man should make the first move. Research also shows that women make the first move in two-thirds of the encounters. Quoting a research on animal behaviours, she says a female chimpanzee in heat will spot her Quarry, ‘stroll up to the male, and tip her buttocks toward his nose to get his attention. Then she'll actually pull him up to his feet to copulate. This behavior is known as female proceptivity. Female proceptivity (as opposed to receptivity) is not unknown to our species, although we are, I should hope, a little less obvious'.

How do women make their first move?
Lowndes lists in descending order of success the results of a study by Monica Moore on how women successfully make the first move:

1. Smile at him broadly
2. Throw him a short, darting glance
3. Dance alone to the music
4. Look straight at him and flip your hair
5. Keep a fixed gaze on him
6. Look at him, toss your head, and then look back
7.'Accidentally' brush up against him
8. Nod your head at him
9. Point to a chair and invite him to sit
10. Tilt your head and touch your exposed neck
11. Lick your lips during eye contact
12. Primp while keeping eye contact with him
13. Parade close to him with exaggerated hip movement

Huntress, take your pick, but you should know what to use.

After the initial move,

S - smile as you are listening to your quarry.

O - open your body. Face your quarry fully, with arms opened in a relaxed manner.

F - lean forward or stand or sit closely to indicate your attraction the quarry

T – touch your quarry’s arm or hand 'accidentally'.

E - maintain eye contact.

N - Nod your head to show interest or agreement.

The first conversation
Conversation is like making love; it is like selling according to Lowndes. You have to know the right buttons to hit and pitch your sales accordingly. An example from Lowndes shows how to turn a conversation to your advantage:

Suppose, gentlemen, while walking home from work, a sudden rainstorm breaks out. You dart for the nearest shelter, a coffee shop. You go in, shake yourself off, and, as you sit down, you spot striking Ms. Attractive Stranger on the next stool. You clear your throat and take a chance.

''Wow," you say. "Looks like it's going to be some storm out there, huh?"

She turns toward you and seems receptive. "Sure does."

You are groping for something else to say. "Uh, do you come here often?"

Your Quarry seems amused at your line, but still interested. "No, not too often." She smiles. "I stopped in here for a hot coffee to get out of the rain."

You venture, "Yeah, it's really coming down, isn't it?" Well, it might not be brilliant, but it keeps the conversation going.

"Oh, well." Your Quarry shrugs. "At least it's good for the plants."

You both look out the window momentarily and then back at each other. You smile. Your Quarry gives you a forced smile. Then neither of you can think of anything else to say, so you both stare back into your coffee cups. End of possible love affair.

What went wrong? Lowden says the man missed ‘the cherry’ that was there. Where is the cherry in the exchange above? Plants. The woman evidently had something going for plants. May be she was an environmentalist; may be a campaigner for "Save The Tropical Forests" movement; or may be simply a lover of flora and fauna. The conversation could have gone on to a more interesting level had he spotted ‘the cherry’.

The Art of Ego massage
Another interesting section is the one on the art of ego massage. Massaging the ego of your quarry is a delicate task that can easily backfire if it is not done with finesse ".

What I have found interesting are the extensive references made to studies on the mating behaviours of the animal kingdom. Her humorous informal style makes the book pleasureable to read.

Book cover from:
Picture of HEARTS from:

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