A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed to a lawyer's office and tells the lawyer to prepare a divorce.
Lawyer: Have you any grounds for divorce?
Polish man: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
Lawyer: No. I mean, what is the foundation of this case?
Polish man.: It is made of concrete.
Lawyer: I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
Polish man: Garage? No, we have carport, and not need one.
Lawyer: I mean, what are your relations like?
Polish man: All my relations still in Poland.
Lawyer: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
Polish man: We have hi-fidelity and good DVD player.
Lawyer: Does your wife beat you up?
Polish man: No, I always up before her.
Lawyer: Is your wife a nagger?
Polish man: No, she white.
Lawyer: Why do you want this divorce?
Polish man: She going to kill me!
Lawyer: What makes you think that?
Polish man: I got proof.
Lawyer: What kind of proof?
Polish man: She going to poison me. She buys a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it says: “Polish Remover”.